Ego Permiability

Culture is important because expectations are important. We need to make sure what the S sees matches their expectations. (either by adjusting what they see or by adjusting their expectations). Whether a S can accept an alien idea (or at least not be offended by it) or not depends a lot on their ego permeability .

For example, I have a colleague who teaches Arab students. They were very offended when their textbook included the song “Imagine” by John Lennon (google the lyrics and try to guess why). It’s easy to say “well they’re just closed-minded,” but imagine how you would feel in an Arabic class listening to a song about a perfect world in which everyone was Muslim? Hopefully, I would approach that sort of thing anthropologically and not let it get to me, but the lesson certainly wouldn’t be as enjoyable as it could be.

When I expose myself to a foreign culture I always have to make a choice between accepting alien ideas (yes! Giving Cherpiya is a great idea), ignoring them (yes, I know it’s traditional for guests to wear carpet slippers, but non of your slippers fit my giant feet. Sorry. I’ll wear socks), and rejecting them (no, you cannot use the n-word when you talk to me.) It isn’t always easy to make that judgment. Yes, you’re a vegetarian, but are you really going to say no to this little old lady who pickled this pig’s eyeball just for you? Yes, you’re a strong, independent woman, but are you really going to say no to a chivalrous European who wants to carry your bags? Maybe you will say no. Maybe there are some things that you just cannot allow yourself to do. That’s ego permeability. You know that if you do this thing (eat meat, let some guy carry your stuff for you, get really drunk), you won’t be you any more.

For me, that test came with racism. Glorious racism.

As an American, I have a knee-jerk reaction to certain words and ways of referring to people. If you say one of them, I will immediately think you’re a reprehensible human being. But the unfortunate truth is that most of the world still equates “different from me” with “bad.” Also, my own reactions aren’t always justified. Yes, I have students who say “I don’t like Sinapore, there are too many Chinese people,” but I also have students who say “I like how Afro people sing. Sometimes they use a different dialect, though.” Or “why is it a problem in America for the Gays to get married?” Okay, so the student used some questionable vocabulary to say it, but their questions are obviously well-intended. This is a time when I have to overcome my own culture.